As I travel the country speaking on mental health and suicide, one thing has become clear. Technology is shaping what we believe about the world and how we view ourselves as individuals.
Technology is everywhere. There’s no escaping its influence—not only in our own lives but also in the lives of our children. Here are three powerful ways technology is shaping your children and how you can help them respond with wisdom and discernment.
The first way technology is shaping your children is through algorithm-driven content. YouTube, Google, and other social media platforms and search engines aren’t neutral. These platforms use emotionally charged, agenda-driven content created specifically to capture your children’s attention and keep them scrolling and clicking, conforming them to the world’s way of thinking in the process.
Remember, there is no neutrality when it comes to worldviews. Your children’s worldview is being shaped by these algorithms without their even realizing it. Paul says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom. 12:2). Teach your children to recognize and resist cultural conformity by rooting their thinking in the truth of God’s Word.
How do you reduce the algorithmic influences? Start by teaching your children to think critically. Teach them to ask, “What message is this digital media trying to communicate?” when they watch a video or read a post. Help them recognize bias, understand different agendas, and learn to evaluate content by assessing it according to a biblical worldview. As they learn to think critically, this will also slow their consumption of content.
Above all this, the most important thing you can do to combat the impact media has on your children is to stay actively involved. Don’t rely solely on filters or parental controls. These don’t always work. Instead, ask them about what they’re watching, engage them in discussions, and help them process what they encounter while scrolling.
The second way technology influences your children is through constant distractions that define their daily experience. One of the best things you can do as a parent is to help your children reclaim silence and stillness in a world that trains them to be constantly distracted.
Text messages, social media notifications, games, and videos create an endless stream of interruptions competing for their attention. This constant digital noise makes it nearly impossible for them to engage in focused thinking. There’s no silence, often making it difficult for them to connect with God. The relentless cycle of notifications and instant gratification is rewiring their brains to crave distraction.
The best way to help children counteract these distractions is to introduce intentional daily practices. For example, create tech-free zones in your home. Make mealtimes, car rides, and bedtime completely screen free, creating space for your kids to think, reflect, and connect with you and with each other. Again, redeeming time away from technology allows for deeper thinking, enhanced creativity, and meaningful reflection.
Encourage activities that require sustained attention like reading books and journaling rather than binge-watching YouTube videos. Involve your children in discussions about important topics. These practices train their minds to go deeper rather than to constantly seek the next distraction.
The third way technology is impacting children involves what I call the online identity trap. Culture is sending them the message that their value and worth depend on how many “likes” their social media post receives, how many followers they have, or how many views their content generates. This fosters insecurity, unhealthy comparison, and fragile self-worth. Even more disconcerting, on social media there is a growing disconnect between actions and real-world consequences, making things like deception, cruelty, or bullying feel somehow “not real.”
These are lies. We combat lies with truth. The true story of reality grounds your children’s identity in a way that goes beyond their achievements and social approval. Paul says that through faith in Jesus Christ, your children are children of God (Gal. 3:26). That’s the proper foundation.
Encourage your children to establish their identity in Christ as God’s image-bearers. You do this by reminding them who they are: children of God, loved by Jesus, and empowered by the Spirit. Teach them to find confidence in God’s view of them, not the world’s view.
Encourage your children to build meaningful relationships. Help them develop in-person friendships, stay connected to the church community, and develop strong social skills offline. The more meaningful connections they have in the real world, the less they’ll depend on online validation for their sense of worth.
There’s one more thing you can do to help your children navigate this tech-centered world: Model healthy technology habits yourself. Show them what it looks like to use technology wisely without chasing online validation. They’ll learn far more from observing your behavior than from just hearing your words. I know it’s hard, but it’s worth it.
Remember, technology itself isn’t the enemy. It’s a powerful tool that can be used for good or for ill. The goal isn’t simply to limit screen time, though that may be part of the solution. The real objective is to train our children to engage wisely with technology, think critically about what they encounter, and stay firmly rooted in biblical truth.